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Apartmentsitting
(Benson and the workers are having a meeting in the living room.) Benson: All right, guys, me and Audrey are going to her parent's house for the weekend. So, I won't be here. Skips, you'll be in charge. Skips: All right. Benson: Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost, you watch the groundskeepers. Muscle Man: Yeah! A job where we don't do nothing! Yeah! (Muscle Man high fives Fives.) Benson: Mordecai and Rigby, you two watch my house. Mordecai: Aw, what?! That's the most boring job ever! Benson: Do you want to clean The Park's waste? (Silence.) Benson: That's what I thought. Now, get back to work or you're fired! (Benson goes outside and gets into Audrey's car.) Benson: You two slackers better not ruin my house! Or else! Audrey: Benson, you should treat those two more nicely. They seem very nice. Benson: But Auddy, they always slack off and not do their work! Audrey: But still, they helped you win during that party, remember? Benson: Fine, I'll try to treat them nicely when we get back. Audrey: That's my Benny. Benson: giggles Well.... (Cut to outside The Park.) Mordecai: Ugh...............this is gonna suck. Rigby: Times infinity. Skips: Hey, you two should get to work. Rigby: Ugh, fine, mumbles sour butt. Skips: What was that? Rigby: Oh nothing. Skips: Stop doidling. Rigby: Doidling? Skips: facepalm Fine, I'll drive you there since you two are so lazy. Man, now I know how Benson feels. (Cut to Benson's Apartment.) Skips: There, you're here. Good luck. You're gonna need it. (Mordecai and Rigby get out of the car.) Rigby: The nerve of that Skips! We are not lazy! Sour butt! Mordecai: Rigby, seriously, let's just get to work, okay? Besides, all we have to do is watch over his house. Rigby: Fine! No need to be a sour butt. (They get inside.) (Rigby sees a picture of cats by Benson's chair.) (Rigby is laughing hard.) Mordecai: What is it, dude? (Mordecai notices the picture.) (Mordecai laughs hard as well.) Rigby: He, he likes kittens?! (They laugh hard again.) Mordecai: Aw man. (Mordecai notices a game console around Benson's couch and TV.) Mordecai: Whoa, Benson plays video games?! Rigby: Whoa. I didn't know old people played video games! Mordecai: How about we play some games? M & R: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! (A montage plays of the two playing video games.) 'Mordecai: Wooooooooooooooah! Beat ya again! Rigby: Whatever. I let you win. Mordecai: Mm, I bet. (A knock is heard at the door.) M & R: Ugh! Mordecai: Who should get up? Rigby: Not me man! I got my perfect butt groove here! It feels so good! I can't ruin it! Mordecai: Ugh, fine! (Mordecai gets up and opens the door.) Person: Hello, is Benson home? It's that time of the month where I need to change his gumballs. (The two laugh.) Person: I must tell you that is no laughing matter. You need fresh gumballs monthly in the gumball system. If they don't, their old gumballs get dusty and cause rust. (They laugh again.) Person: (Rolls eyes): So........ is he home? Mordecai: Sorry, he's gone with his girlfriend for the weekend. Who are you? Person: I'm Benson's doctor. I'm a Gumballigiost: Someone who specializes in and takes care of a gumball machine. Well, I'll just set these gumballs here. (Benson's doctor sets them on the table.) Doctor: Whatever you do, don't open or break the glass. If you do, they'll fall and their freshness will be ruined. Mordecai: Oh, like food. Rigby: What's wrong with dirty food? Doctor: Well, thank you for your time. (The Doctor leaves.) Rigby: Ugh, I'm so hungry! Mordecai: I'll look in the fridge. (Mordecai opens the fridge.) Mordecai: Aw, what?! It's all rancid! I hope Benson's having a better time than we are. (Cut to Benson and Audrey in their car. They arrive at Audrey's parent's house.) Audrey: Remember, Benny. Just be yourself. Don't get nervous. And, please, try to have a clean mouth and posture. My parents are old fashioned. Benson: But, Auddy, what if they reject me?! Audrey: Then....... (sighs): Oh well. But, are you ready? Benson: I am. Are you? Audrey: Yep. Let's get inside. (Benson and Audrey knock on the door. Audrey's parents open it.) Audrey: Hi mom, hi dad! Audrey's Mother: Honey! Audrey's Father: Sweetie cakes! (Audrey's parents hug Audrey.) Audrey: Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Benson. Audrey's Father: You're dating a gumball machine?! That's not how we raised you. Audrey: Dad! Not now! Try to make him more welcome. Audrey's Mother: Well, he's, uh........... interesting looking alright. Audrey: Benny, these are my parents, Andrew and Anna. Benson: Uh, hi. (To Anna): Hi Audrey's dad. (To Andrew): And Audrey's mom. Andrew: He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is he? (Anna chuckles.) Audrey: Mom! Dad! He's just a little nervous. Andrew: I bet. Well, how about you fix us up some dinner Anna? Anna: Alrighty. (Anna goes into the kitchen.) Audrey: I have to go powder up, so, I'll leave you two to get to know each other better. (Audrey goes to the bathroom.) Andrew: So, you're the one who's fancying my sweetie cake, eh? Benson: Um, yes? Andrew: You better not lay a finger on her or I'll rip you limb from limb! Got it?! Benson: Yes sir! Andrew: Good. So, let's have a man to man talk. (A cricket is heard chirping.) Andrew: How about some football? Benson: I don't like football, sir. Andrew: (mockingly): You don't like football, eh? (normal): A man not liking football is blasphemy. In fact, that pink you have on you makes you look like a girl! My sweetie cakes better not be datin' a girl! Benson: I can confirm I am a male, sir. Andrew: Well, then. We're gonna watch football. Alright?! Benson: Yes, sir. (Andrew turns on the TV and a football game is happening.) Audrey: I'm back! Wait, Benny, I thought you didn't like football. Andrew: Oh, he loves it, right Benster? (Andrew gives him a noggie.) Audrey: Dad, don't do that! He has a very sensitive scalp! Andrew: No guy has a "sensitive scalp". Speaking of that, how come you have no hair? I'm older than you, hopefully, and I have hair. Audrey: Dad, that's none of your business! Andrew: Um, excuse me, I asked him, not you. Benson: I just wanted to shave it off. Andrew: What guy does that?! Audrey: (Praying to herself): Please tell me my mom is almost done. Andrew: Sweetie cakes, what did I tell you? You're suppose to say it in your mind, not out loud. (Audrey sighs.) Anna: Dinner's ready! Andrew: Aw, just a few more minutes! The game's almost done! Anna: Everyone, to the kitchen table, now! (Everyone (minus Andrew) run into the kitchen. Audrey then drags Andrew into the kitchen.) (Cut to Mordecai and Rigby. They're eating pizza.) Mordecai: Good thing Benson gave us the number to a great pizza place. (Mordecai screams.) Rigby: Ugh, I don't want to hear your aching-. (Rigby screams.) Mordecai: Aw, man! There's pizza stains everywhere on the couch! If Benson sees this, we'll be fired for sure. Rigby: Relax. I know what to do. (Rigby sprays on the pizza stains. Luckily, the spray's color matches the couch's.) Rigby: See? Looks like nothing happened. Mordecai: Yeah, but you can still smell it and you'll see it if you sit on them. Rigby: Who sees where their butt was just sitting? Well, besides me, since I have such a beautiful butt. (Looks at his butt in the mirror.) Mordecai: I hope you're right. Rigby: Of course I am. Have I let you down before? Mordecai: Yes. Rigby: Well, this time, I won't. Mordecai: I hope so........... Well, I guess we should clean up the place. (A montage plays of Mordecai and Rigby "cleaning up, but they're actually making a mess where they're cleaning.) Mordecai: Aw, man! Everywhere's a mess! Rigby: Relax. No one really looks on the ground where they're walking. Mordecai: I hope so. Let's see. Next: Fix the garbage disposal. Rigby: Leave this to me. Mordecai: Do you know anything about plumbing? Rigby: (Suddenly in plumbing clothes): Well, I got the crack down and I've seen plumbers. Pretty sure that's all you need to know. Mordecai: Oh boy. (Rigby uses tools to "fix" the plumbing.) Mordecai: Alright, let's test it. (Mordecai pushes the disposal button.) (It shoots out shredded food.) (Mordecai has it hit his face.) (Rigby laughs.) Mordecai: Will you take off that stupid plumbing outfit already?! Rigby: I don't know. I think I look hot in it. (Suddenly, all the sink holes in the house have shredded food coming out of them.) Mordecai: Great job, you drillbit! Rigby: I'm pretty sure he won't even notice. Mordecai: Oh, yeah, food shooting at your face isn't noticeable. Rigby: Whatever, let's do the next thing. (Cut to Benson, Audrey, Andrew and Anna at the dinner table.) Anna: I hope you all enjoy my lasagna. Benson: It's great, Audrey's mom! What's the secret to its stickiness? Anna: I put a little teeny tiny small short bit of of peanut butter so it can stick to your gums and ribs. Audrey: Peanuts?! Benny's allergic to peanuts! (Benson falls out of his chair and has an allergic reaction.) Audrey: Benny, Benny! I got your auto-injecter! (Audrey uses the injecter on Benson and Benson is alright.) Benson: I'm alright. Audrey: Oh, thank goodness! I thought I lost you there! Andrew: He's fakin' it! No guy is allergic to peanuts! Audrey: Dad, not now! Benny, how about I call for you to get a pizza? Benson: That'd be fine. Audrey: Okay. (Later. Everyone is finished with their dinner but are still at the table.) Andrew: So, uh, how are you two gonna have kids? Audrey: Well, if we ever decide to have children, we will adopt. Andrew: Adopt? Adopt?! (Andrew laughs hard.) Andrew: If you don't have kids of your own, you won't be parents. Audrey: Dad! Andrew: Hey, I'm just sayin'. (Audrey growls.) (Cut to Mordecai and Rigby. They're walking around the house.) Mordecai: Will you take off that stupid outfit?! Rigby: Nah. I think I look good. Mordecai: Whatever. Let's do the next thing: Clean Dave's urn. (Mordecai and Rigby open the closet. There are mementos, pictures of Benson with Dave and a shrine dedicated to Dave.) Rigby: Ha! What loser has a shrine for someone? (Mordecai has a guilty face.) Mordecai: But, whoa, Benson really liked Dave. Rigby: Yeah. Kinda creepy, though. Mordecai: Oh well. Let's get the urn. (Rigby drops the urn and it breaks.) Mordecai: Dude! Benson's so totally going to kill us! Rigby: Relax. Get me a cup. (Mordecai gets him a cup and puts the ashes into it.) (Rigby then paints it orange (the color the previous urn was.) Rigby: Good as new. Mordecai: He's so going to notice! Rigby: He won't. His old man eyes will just see orange and he'll think it's the same. Trust me. I'm Rigby the plumber. Mordecai: I hope so........ (Cut to Benson, Audrey, Andrew and Anna still at the dinner table.) Anna: So, sweetheart, may I ask what you see in this guy? Audrey: That's it! I've had it! You've treated Benny like crap and I'm sick of it! We love each other, okay?! Get over it! You can't tell me who to love and not love! I'm my own person! Could you at least pretend to like him instead of treating him like some rabid wolverine?! I don't care if it's not old fashioned! I don't care if you guys don't like him! Heck, I don't care much about you guys! What I do care about is Benson! We love each other, and that's that! And if you don't like that, then get over it! (Everyone is silent.) Audrey: I-I'm sorry! (Audrey runs away crying.) (Benson follows her. Andrew and Anna are in shock.) (Cut to Benson and Audrey in Audrey's room.) Benson: It's gonna be okay, Auddy. Audrey: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped. I'm just a jerk. Benson: Audrey, you are not! You are a beautiful, kind, loving, strong and smart human being! You are what anyone wants in a woman, and I'm glad you are mine. (Audrey hugs Benson.) Audrey: I love you! (Audrey's parents come inside.) Audrey: Oh, what now?! Going to insult Benny again?! Anna: Well, we overheard what Benson said, and someone who cares so much for our daughter, proves you are right for her. And we thought about what you said Audrey. We're sorry. We'll stop and start treating him with more respect. He deserves it after all, caring so much for our sweet daughter. (Audrey hugs her parents.) (Cut to Mordecai and Rigby. They're walking around the house.) Mordecai: Alright, last thing: Go in the attic and clean it. (They head in the attic.) Mordecai: Ugh! I can't see! Rigby: Let me get my lighter. (Rigby turns on his lighter.) (Rigby trips over something.) (The fire from the lighter quickly spreads in the attic.) Rigby: Aw crap. (Mordecai and Rigby jump out of the attic. The fire spreads all over the apartment and the apartment is destroyed.) Rigby: Oh...... my......... I left my butt mirror in there! (Mordecai punches him.) Mordecai: Dude, we destroyed the apartment! We're so dead! Rigby: Dude, relax. Just act like everything's alright. Mordecai: Oh, yeah, everything's alright when an entire building is burnt down by a lighter! Rigby: Just pretend nothing happened. Trust me. I am Rigby the plumber. Mordecai: Ugh, fine! (Cut to Benson, Audrey, Andrew and Anna.) Andrew and Anna: Bye, you two! Come back anytime! Audrey: Oh we will! (Benson and Audrey get into their car.) Benson: I hope Mordecai and Rigby didn't screw anything up! Audrey: I'm pretty sure they did fine. (Benson and Audrey drive to their apartment. They then arrive.) (Audrey screams.) Audrey: My home! (Audrey cries.) (Benson is extremely red.) Mordecai: Now, Benson-. Benson: No, I don't even want to hear it. And why are you in plumber suit, Rigby? Rigby: Uh, Rigby the plumber was never here! *runs away* (Benson grabs Rigby by the neck.) Benson: Not so fast! Mordecai: So, are we fired? Benson: Nope. Actually, you're going to work for me for forever! Yeah, that's right! Even after I die and you two die, you'll still work for me forever as punishment! Mordecai: Aw man........ Rigby: That'll be no problem, with Rigby the plumber around! (Rigby takes out a tool and women singers sing "Rigby the Plumber.".) (Overview shows Mordecai and Benson facepalming, and Audrey still crying.) The End.